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  My hands fluttered in my lap when his mouth touched mine. He tasted like wine and desire. I moaned, and instantly the kiss deepened. His lips coaxed my mouth, intoxicating me with pleasure. I opened my mouth beneath his while his fingers tangled in my hair. He moved my head, angling it so he could torture my mouth some more with his wicked perfect kiss. My entire body responded. My skin tingled, my body tightened, my heart tumbled. A deep noise rumbled in his chest, and his passion staggered me.

  His mouth yanked off mine, and he turned away from me. His breath was harsh. “Oh fuck.”

  My body violently trembled. My heart was like a feral bird, fluttering with madness in my chest. I could not believe that I had just kissed Jackson. I was a terrible person. I had just cheated on Matt. Matt, who was working late tonight. I couldn’t even reconcile what had just happened. What had I done?

  “I'm sorry,” I bleated.

  He tilted his head at me. His look was incredulous. “This was not your fault.”

  My eyes were wide. I was still in shock. My body still trembled. Guilt crushed my heart. “It kinda is.”

  I watched as he stood up and walked to the door.

  I stared at his broad back, wishing my voice wasn’t shaking so hard. “I'm engaged to be married.”

  His movements stopped. He faced away from me, but he was listening.

  “You need to go downstairs and flirt with someone else. I can’t do that again. I'm a faithful person.”

  His body pivoted with control. He looked different. Real emotion moved across his face, a mixture of anger and deep, hot desire.

  “Emily.”

  “Yes?”

  “There is only one other person in this world that I have met that is as good as you. You have no responsibility or guilt here. I kissed you. That was me, taking something that wasn’t mine to take. It’ll never happen again.”

  He turned around and walked out of the room.

  I think I was in shock. I couldn’t even process what had just happened. I held my fingers to my lips. I had never been kissed like that before in my life. I worked to recall kissing Matt, but my mind was drawing a blank. Who failed to remember what it was like to kiss their fiancé?

  I washed my shaking hands and pulled a hairbrush through my hair. I wanted to crawl into bed and not come out. Instead, I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door.

  Standing in the midst of his she-pack, Jackson lifted his eyes and watched as I slowly walked down the stairs. I momentarily fantasized about turning off the music and kicking everyone out, but instead, I walked into the kitchen, found my wine glass and poured myself another generous glass.

  His mouth covered mine.

  His teeth nipped my bottom lip.

  I moaned into his mouth.

  Our kiss flashed in my mind on repeat. I felt my face heat up. It was going to be a long night.

  Chapter 14

  An hour later, I stood in the kitchen and pretended to wipe down the counter, because secretly it was the best vantage point to watch Julie and Jackson. Watching Julie flirt with Jackson was painful, but watching Jackson flirt back felt like a knife was going through my heart. The man had charm. I thought Matt was an outstanding flirt, but Jackson took it to a whole other level. They were no longer even interacting with other people at the party. They were huddled together talking. Every time Julie spoke, Jackson leaned down, putting his face near hers, so that only he could hear what she said. Whatever she said was apparently funny, because he laughed. I watched as he gently brushed some of her hair off her shoulder. Something ugly moved in my stomach. How could he flirt like that with her, when only a short while ago he had given me one of the most incredible kisses of my life? Just because his kiss had defined all kisses in my life to date, did not mean that it had meant anything to him. For Jackson, that was probably just another everyday kiss. He had come to my room, and I was having a pity party, so he tried to make me feel better with a pity kiss. I needed to get my act together here and just be happy for them.

  Jackson lifted his gaze and green eyes met mine. My face burst into flames. I was staring at them like some creepy forlorn lover. I almost tripped over myself to turn away. This was my doing. Jackson and I had done the unthinkable. I had cheated on Matt. I had kissed Jackson. There was no coming back from that. I needed to focus my attention back to Matt. Jackson needed to concentrate his ridiculous charm and charisma elsewhere, and who better than at Julie, who looked like she was about to self-combust in heat.

  Furthermore, I had no business concerning myself with Jackson’s love life. And I certainly had no right to let it bother me. I had a wonderful fiancé whom I was going to marry in three short months.

  “Matt!” someone yelled over the music. I looked up with relief to see Matt walk in the door, carrying two bottles of wine. I started towards him, and then stopped in my tracks when a beautiful woman walked in behind him. He turned and smiled at her, and then put his hand on her back, ushering her further into the loft.

  I watched as he walked through the room, introducing her to our various friends. She was probably just a co-worker that he had brought along. So why did something cold crawl across my skin?

  I pasted a big fake-ass smile on my face and walked towards them.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Hi,” Matt smiled, avoiding my eyes. The three of us all stood there. It was awkward.

  “Hi Matt,” I said again and raised my eyebrows at him. His eyes were bloodshot and red, and he had that look to him. The look that said he had already drunk more than his fair share.

  “This is Katherine, one of the partners at my firm.” He pointed a wine bottle at me. “And this is….”

  He was loaded.

  “Emily,” I glared daggers at him and stuck my hand out to shake hers. “Pleased to meet you.”

  “I was getting to your name,” Matt enunciated carefully. “Any booze in this place?”

  My manners kicked in. I’d deal with Matt later. I asked her, “Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I would love a glass of pinot.”

  As I turned away, I heard her say, “How long do we have to stay here?”

  I stood in the kitchen, my hands shaking as I poured the wine. What exactly was going on here? Who was Katherine? Why had she answered Matt’s phone? Why was he already drunk? Why hadn’t he introduced me as his fiancée? Questions crowded my mind.

  How could I possibly jump to conclusions when I had just kissed Jackson. Was I going to turn this situation back around on Matt and make this his fault?

  I brought her a glass of wine, and we smiled at each other. Polite and welcoming conversation. I could do it.

  Someone shouted from across the room, “Emily.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “My girlfriend accidentally knocked over your plant,” Ben said with an apologetic face.

  I stared down at the tiny jasmine plant that Jackson had given me. It lay mangled on the floor amongst the black soil and the smashed blue ceramic pot. The fragile small plant lying there made me want to cry a little bit.

  “I'm so sorry,” Ben’s girlfriend said with genuine regret in her voice.

  “No problem,” I sat on my haunches in front of the mess.

  A familiar figure appeared beside me with a hand broom and dustpan. “Here let me help.”

  “Wait,” I said, as Jackson moved to start sweeping. “I want to save the plant.”

  “I don’t know if that plant is going to survive the fall,” Ben offered his advice. “It looks pretty toast to me.”

  Annoyance flashed through me. “We can save it.”

  I picked it up with both hands and then I looked around. “Now what?”

  I glanced up at Jackson’s bemused expression. “You want to save that?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re different. You know that?”

  I lifted my chin. “Can you use your stupid army skills to help me or what?”

  A gorgeous smile broke out on his face, a
nd the party faded away from around us. “I think my stupid skills might come in handy.”

  “You're in charge.”

  While I cradled the plant at the counter in the kitchen, Jackson rooted through the cupboards looking for a dish. I looked over my shoulder. “That dish.”

  He looked at the silver bowl in his hand. “I was looking for Tupperware.”

  I frowned. “Oh no. This plant can’t do Tupperware.”

  He brought the bowl over. “Are you sure? This looks a bit fancy.”

  “It’s perfect,” I said, a smile on my face. “My granny bought it for me.”

  He set it down. “Do you have potting soil?”

  “I do actually. In the pantry.”

  I watched as he poured soil into the bowl, and then I repotted the plant into the sterling silver bowl. Jackson watched as I watered it and then we both stood there looking at the droopy plant.

  Julie came over. “What are you guys doing?”

  “Someone dumped a plant. We just repotted it.”

  She peered over my shoulder. “You did not.”

  I knew the moment she spoke what she was getting at. I attempted to change the subject. “Julie, you want some more wine?”

  “That bowl is from fucking Tiffany’s. That’s the Monteith bowl.”

  “Ha,” I lied. “Not true. I think I got this at a garage sale.”

  Jackson’s eyes met mine.

  “Bullshit,” Julie sounded indignant. “I know Tiffany. You can’t plant that crappy weed in a bowl worth over four thousand dollars. That’s sacrilege.”

  I took a deep breath and then picked up the bowl. “This isn’t a crappy weed. This is a friendship plant and I can plant it in whatever bowl I want.”

  “Must be nice to throw around your money for everyone to see.”

  “The only reason why this bowl has value is that it was a gift from my granny,” my face burned.

  “Easy for you to say,” her voice was like a whip.

  Without looking at either them, I picked up my $6 plant in my $4000 bowl and walked away from both of them.

  Chapter 15

  I stood in the laundry room and stared at the plant that sat on the washer. Why was Julie so obsessed with how much money I had? Why did she have to bring it up every single chance she got? And why did it feel like everything was spinning out of control? I just wanted this party to end and everyone to go home.

  I took a deep breath. I just needed to get through tonight. I could process everything later.

  I moved back to the living room. Matt was knee deep in the party, joking and laughing uproariously. Katherine stuck to his side like glue.

  Swallowing hard, I made my way to his side, and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. “Em, can you please top us up?”

  Shame washed over me. Followed immediately by retribution. I had kissed Jackson. Jackson’s mouth had been on mine, and I had moaned into his lips. I had wantonly drunk in his kiss like the starved virgin I was. Matt deserved more from me. Now he was entertaining someone from his work, and I was not going to be the insecure fiancé who clung to him.

  “Sure,” I said with a cheerfulness I did not feel.

  The party raged on. People drank more. The music got louder. The laughter became overwhelming. The energy was more intense. I collected dirty glasses. I called cabs for people who were no longer in any condition to drive. I sorted out coats and bags and hugged and kissed everyone on their way out. And the entire time, I drank. I don’t know how many glasses of wine I consumed, but the moment my glass was empty, I filled it up again.

  I was in the kitchen, trying without success to tie off a bag of garbage but my hands fumbled and struggled with the simple task. Matt appeared in the kitchen.

  “Do we have any more of that pinot?”

  I stood up and blinked at him. It dawned on me that I would have to come clean about the kiss. The sooner, the better. He was avoiding my gaze.

  “Matt,” I said carefully. “Can we talk? I have to tell you something.”

  “Not right now.”

  “Matt, I have a confession.”

  Matt’s critical gaze roamed over me. Then he looked over his shoulder, his bloodshot eyes narrowed. I followed his gaze to see Jackson towering on the other side of the island. He wore a scowl, and he looked formidable.

  Matt looked towards Jackson. “Why do you look so pissed? You’re getting lucky tonight, as usual.”

  “What?” I blinked in confusion. Green eyes shifted to my face and then back to Matt again.

  Matt snorted. “Jackson here likes to stroll into any situation, find the hottest chick and then the rest of us get his leftovers.”

  My mouth dropped open at Matt’s crude comment. “Matt!”

  “The worst part about it is that it won’t mean anything to him.”

  I now had to tell Matt I had kissed Jackson. I shut my eyes momentarily, and the entire room went off kilter. I grabbed the counter to find my balance.

  “You’re hammered.” Matt looked at me with something close to disgust.

  I just needed to get this over with.

  “Matt, we need to talk.”

  He stepped back. “Em, why do you always pick the most inappropriate times to want to talk? You have the worst timing of any person I know.”

  My mouth dropped open at the barely concealed venom in his tone. Why was he so angry at me? Did he somehow already know that I had kissed Jackson?

  Against my will, my hands reached out to grab his arm. He shook me off. My eyes followed him as he walked back into the living room to take his place beside Katherine.

  Jackson looked down at me. His expression was unreadable.

  “He’s mad,” my voice sounded sorrowful. “And I haven’t even told him yet.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck.

  Why was I always dumping my issues at this man’s feet?

  I tried to switch gears by asking him, “Did you have fun tonight?”

  His expression didn’t change.

  I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and lied. “I think you and Julie make a nice couple.”

  “You should go to bed.”

  “You’re scowling.”

  He looked over his shoulder at Matt and then looked back at me. “I'm going to help you upstairs now.”

  I carefully stepped, wobbling only slightly. “I can do it myself.”

  Jackson walked around the island, and before I could react, he scooped me into his strong arms, holding me against his chest. I stared up at his beautiful face as he began to move with ease up the stairs.

  “Carrying another person up the stairs is dangerous,” I worked to enunciate my words.

  He glanced down at me. “I can carry another guy my size on my back.”

  I blinked, noticing from this angle, just how long his eyelashes were. Was it like firefighters? Did they have to carry someone as part of qualifying for his job? “What distance do you have to carry the other person?”

  “It depends.”

  “On what?”

  “If we’re five miles away, and he’s hurt, that’s how far I carry him. If we’re ten miles, that’s the distance we go.”

  I frowned at him. “But what if you get tired?”

  He pushed into my room. “Getting tired isn’t an excuse. You just get the job done.”

  “I can take it from here,” I said. I struggled to lift my head from his chest.

  He lay me on the bed and stood over me.

  “The room is spinning.”

  “Keep your eyes open,” he moved to the foot of the bed.

  His two warm hands were on my ankle. Unable to lift my head, I realized that he was working on the strap of my high heel. I decided to let him since I didn’t think I would be able to manage it.

  I stared at the ceiling fan. “Do me a favor?”

  “What.” He pulled off one shoe and moved to my other foot.

  “Can you and Julie not be too loud?”

  “What?” He sounded harsh.


  I lifted my head. “When she comes up here as your sophisticated overnight guest.”

  “Julie isn’t coming upstairs.”

  I dropped my head back on the pillow. “She would if you asked her.”

  He sounded pissed. “I won’t be asking her.”

  His breath warmed the skin on my ankle as he worked on my shoe.

  “Matt said you were getting lucky.”

  He tugged my other shoe off. Standing up, he towered over my bed. “I'm going to get you some water and aspirin.”

  He disappeared out the door. I struggled to sit up. I needed to take my pants off. I unbuttoned them but decided that I could shimmy out of them while lying down. I got them halfway down my hips, but they got stuck.

  Jackson reappeared, pausing at the door when he saw me in my state of undress.

  “I can’t get my pants off,” I said, my eyes shut. “Can you help?”

  A glass clattered as it got set down on the nightstand.

  “I thought Matt was the lightweight.”

  “Just pull them off.”

  The bed depressed next to me, so I opened my eyes. He had one knee on the bed, and he looked down at my pants.

  “Did you have fun tonight?” I stared at his perfect face.

  “It was fine.”

  “I hated tonight,” I said with a sigh. “Tonight was bad.”

  Green eyes clashed with mine. He held eye contact while his huge hands traced over my bare skin at my waist. A small noise squeaked out of me. I lifted my head and watched as his fingers grabbed the fabric of my pants. He tugged the material down over my hips and down my thighs before pulling them from my body.

  “How come tonight was so bad?” His voice sounded very casual.

  I lay there, staring up at him. Too drunk to care that he was looking at me in my undies. “Everything was bad.”

  He grabbed the quilt and pulled it over my body.

  “Why?”

  My body hurt, but emotionally I needed to talk.

  “Just…Matt’s co-worker. She answered his cell. And he didn’t even tell her that he was my fiancé.”