My Fiancé's Brother (The Guilty Series Book 1) Page 9

“Yes!”

  “Where is that dick anyways?”

  I hesitated. Wanting to confess that another woman had answered his phone, but knew that it would only make Beth angry. “He cancelled. He promised me that he would be here but he bailed at the last minute.”

  Beth sighed and rubbed my arm, “You do realize you deserve better, right?”

  I looked at my hands. I could not imagine starting over. Matt was my world. He was my future. I had no idea how to fix the things that were going wrong but taking Matt out of the picture was not the solution. No matter how many times Beth gently suggested it.

  “It’s not Matt’s fault. He has a crazy job. I just need to get through to the wedding. That’s my goal.”

  Beth and I chatted a bit more, and despite my pleading, she had to leave. She had an early brunch with her family and she didn’t want to show up hung over.

  The room felt a bit more lonely without her. I glanced around the room. Julie and company were crowding Jackson like a badly mannered fan club. I stood in the kitchen alone, sipping my third glass of wine. How many parties in my youth had I attended exactly like this? Where my friends were off chasing some guy and I was left standing, by myself, feeling socially awkward. I looked around the room. It was my party, my place, but no one noticed me. A wave of depression washed over me. I needed one moment. I needed a freaking moment to clear my head.

  I walked upstairs, moved into my bedroom and shut the door. I flopped back onto the bed. The music throbbed from below. 50 of my closest friends partied downstairs but I doubted that a single one would even notice if I didn’t return. Loneliness crashed over me. Since my parents left, a limited amount of people seemed to care. Tears pricked my eyelids. I sucked in a deep breath. I permitted myself to partake in a three minute pity party and then I would head back downstairs to be the hostess with the most-ess.

  A soft knock sounded on my door. Before I could answer, Jackson stepped in and shut the door behind him. His size dominated the room. I pushed myself into a sitting position.

  “Is everything okay?” my voice sounded raspy.

  “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

  I blew the bangs off my forehead. “I was just taking a breather.”

  “Where is Matt?”

  “Working.”

  “Seems like that’s all he does.”

  “Agreed.”

  He frowned and walked over to sit on the bed beside me. “You sure you’re okay?”

  I nodded, trying to swallow the lump from my throat. His care exacerbated my stupid pity party feelings. “I think I was having some University flashbacks.”

  His gaze sharpened, but he remained silent.

  “I thought I had grown out of standing off to the side and watching my friends flirt with the hottest guy in the room.”

  I exhaled and pasted a smile on my face.

  “Wait,” he paused, thinking. “Am I the quarterback?”

  “Shut up.” My voice devoid of meaning.

  “Em,” his quiet voice sounded sincere. “I bet those University guys were dying to come and talk to you, but they didn’t have the balls.”

  I snorted. “Trust me, you had to be there.”

  He lifted a hand and brushed a strand of hair off my cheek. “I see you standing off to the side. You're so untouchable to the rest of the world, it hurts.”

  I grabbed his thick wrist and my eyes drifted shut when I felt his thumb gentle brush my cheek.

  “I bet they constantly thought about kissing you.” His low voice hypnotized me.

  I opened my eyes. Green eyes studied my face. His huge hand slide around the back of my neck and then he tugged me close.

  My hands fluttered in my lap when his mouth touched mine. He tasted like wine and desire. I moaned and instantly the kiss deepened. His lips coaxed my mouth, intoxicating me with pleasure. I opened my mouth beneath his while his fingers tangled in my hair. He moved my head, angling it so he could torture my mouth some more with his wicked perfect kiss. My entire body responded. My skin tingled, my body tightened, my heart tumbled. A deep noise rumbled in his chest and his passion staggered me.

  His mouth yanked off mine and he turned away from me. His breath was harsh. “Oh fuck.”

  My body violently trembled. My heart was like a feral bird, fluttering with madness in my chest. I could not believe that I had just kissed Jackson. I was a terrible person. I had just cheated on Matt. Matt who was working late tonight. I couldn’t even reconcile what had just happened. What had I done?

  “I'm sorry,” I bleated.

  He tilted his head at me, his look incredulous. “This was not your fault.”

  My eyes were wide. I was still in shock. My body was still trembling. Guilt crushed my heart. “It kinda is.”

  I watched as he stood up and walked to the door.

  I stared at his broad back, wishing my voice wasn’t shaking so hard. “I'm engaged to be married.”

  His movements stopped. He faced away from me, but he was listening.

  “You need to go downstairs and flirt with someone else. I can’t do that again. I'm a faithful person.”

  His body pivoted with control. He looked different. Real emotion moved across his face, a mixture of anger and deep, hot desire.

  “Emily.”

  My voice sounded tiny. “Yes?”

  “There is only one other person in this world that I have met that is as good as you. You have no responsibility or guilt here. I kissed you. That was me, taking something that wasn’t mine to take. It will never happen again.”

  He turned around and walked out of the room.

  ***

  I think I was in shock. I couldn’t even process what had just happened. I waited until my legs could hold my weight and then I staggered to my bathroom. My hair was sticking up in the back. My lips looked swollen and puffy. My eyes looked wild. Two spots of colour stained my cheekbones.

  I held my fingers to my lips. I had never been kissed like that before in my life. Why had I never felt that before in my life? I worked to recall kissing Matt, but my mind was drawing a blank. Who failed to remember what it was like to kiss their own fiancé?

  I washed my shaking hands and pulled a hairbrush through my hair. Shit. I just wanted to crawl into bed and not come out. Instead I took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door.

  Standing in the midst of his she-pack, Jackson lifted his eyes and watched as I slowly walked down the stairs. I momentarily fantasized about turning off the music and kicking everyone out, but instead I walked into the kitchen, found my wine glass and poured myself another generous glass of wine.

  His mouth covered mine.

  His teeth nipped my bottom lip.

  I moaned into his mouth.

  Our kiss flashed in my mind on repeat. I felt my face heat up. It was going to be a really long night.

  Chapter 14

  An hour later, I felt nothing but misery. I stood in the kitchen and pretended to wipe down the counter, because secretly it was the best vantage point to watch Julie and Jackson. If I thought watching Julie flirt with Jackson was painful, watching Jackson flirt back felt like a knife was going through my heart. The man had charm. I thought Matt was an outstanding flirt, but Jackson took it to a whole other level. They were no longer even interacting with other people at the party. They were huddled together talking. Every time Julie spoke, Jackson leaned down, putting his face near hers, so that only he could hear what she said. Whatever she said was obviously funny, because he laughed. I watched as he gently brushed some of her hair off her shoulder. I felt something ugly move in my stomach. How could he flirt like that with her, when only a short while ago he had given me one of the most incredible kisses of my life? It obviously hadn’t meant anything to him. Just because his kiss had defined all kisses in my life to date, did not mean that it had meant anything to him. For Jackson, that was probably just another every day kiss. He had come to my room and I was having a pity party so he tried to make me feel better
with a pity kiss. I needed to get my act together here and just be happy for them.

  Jackson lifted his gaze and green eyes met mine. I felt my face burst into flames. I was staring at them like some creepy forlorn lover. I almost tripped over myself to turn away. This was my doing. Jackson and I had done the unthinkable. I had cheated on Matt. I had kissed Jackson. There was no coming back from that. The only thing that would come close to repairing this situation was if I focused my attention back on Matt and if Jackson never, I mean never, touched me again. He needed to focus his ridiculous charm and charisma elsewhere, and who better than at Julie, who looked like she was about to self-combust in heat.

  Furthermore, I had no business concerning myself with Jackson’s love life. And I certainly had no right to let it bother me. I had a wonderful fiancé whom I was going to marry in three short months. I had no idea how I had gotten so lucky to even get Matt. He was confident and outgoing, a successful lawyer and good looking to boot. As Julie liked to tell me, I was dating out of my league when I secured Matt as my own. I knew it was true too. I was so happy to have Matt as my own, so why did it depress me so much to see Jackson and Julie?

  “Matt!” someone yelled over the music. I looked up with relief to see Matt walk in the door, carrying two bottles of wine. His tie was off and his shirt was undone. I started towards him, and then stopped in my tracks when a beautiful woman walked in behind him. He turned and smiled at her, and then put his hand on her back, ushering her further into the loft.

  I watched as he walked through the room, introducing her to our various friends. She was probably just a co-worker that he had brought along. So why was something cold crawling across my skin?

  I pasted a big fake-ass smile on my face and walked towards them.

  “Hi,” I said, my voice sounding more like a chirping small bird than the sophisticated fiancé I was trying to be.

  “Hi,” Matt smiled, avoiding my eyes. The three of us all stood there. It was awkward.

  “Hi Matt,” I said again and raised my eyebrows at him. His eyes were bloodshot and red and he had that look to him. The look that said he had already drank more than his fair share.

  Matt gathered his thoughts and smiled at the woman. “This is Katherine, one of the partners at my firm.” He pointed a wine bottle at me. “And this is….”

  Wow. He couldn’t even remember my name.

  “Emily,” I prompted, and stuck my hand out to shake hers. “Please to meet you.”

  “I was getting to your name,” Matt enunciated carefully. Wow. He was loaded.

  “Oh,” she said with a beautiful smile, looking around the loft. “Are you a friend of Matt’s?”

  My mouth dropped open.

  Matt laughed. “Something like that.”

  He might as well have slapped me. I was staring at him, when he winked at me and said, “Any booze in this place?”

  I took a big shaky breath, completely caught off guard with how this conversation was going, but my manners kicked in. “Yes. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “I would love a glass of pinot,” she said, not bothering to even make eye contact with me.

  I nodded, pressing my lips together. As I turned away, I heard her say, “How long do we have to stay here?”

  I stood in the kitchen, my hands shaking as I poured the wine. What exactly was going on here? Who was Katherine? Why had she answered Matt’s phone? Why was he already drunk? Why hadn’t he introduced me as his fiancé? Questions crowded my mind, but I stopped myself from going there.

  How could I possibly jump to conclusions about Matt and a colleague that he was obviously trying to impress? I was the cheater in this relationship. I was the one who had kissed Jackson. I was the one who felt almost sick with jealously when I witnessed Jackson flirt with Julie. Was I really going to turn this situation back around on Matt and make this his fault? If anyone was to blame, it was me. I needed to go over there and be polite and welcoming.

  I dutifully brought her a glass of wine.

  I was about to talk when someone shouted from across the room, “Emily.”

  “Excuse me,” I murmured before heading towards Ben.

  “My girlfriend accidentally knocked over your plant,” Ben said with an apologetic face.

  I stared down at the tiny jasmine plant that Jackson had given me. It lay mangled on the floor amongst the black soil and the smashed blue ceramic pot. I wanted to cry a little bit at seeing the fragile little plant lying there in a heap of trouble.

  “I'm so sorry,” Ben’s girlfriend said with true regret in her voice.

  “No problem,” I said with a tight smile. I sat on my haunches in front of the mess.

  A large familiar figure appeared beside me with a hand broom and dust pan. “Here let me help.”

  “Wait,” I said, as Jackson moved to start sweeping. “I want to save the plant.”

  “I don’t know if that plant is going to survive the fall,” Ben offered his advice. “It looks pretty toast to me.”

  Annoyance flashed through me. “We can’t throw it out. It isn’t the plant’s fault that it got tossed to the ground.”

  I picked it up with both hands and then I looked around. “Now what?”

  I glanced up at Jackson’s bemused expression. “You really want to save that?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re different, you know that?”

  I lifted my chin. “Can you use your stupid army skills to help me or what?”

  The most gorgeous smile broke out on his face and the party faded away from around us. “I think my stupid skills might come in handy.”

  I swallowed. “You're in charge.”

  While I cradled the plant at the counter in the kitchen, Jackson rooted through the cupboards looking for a dish. I looked over my shoulder. “That dish.”

  He looked at the silver bowl in his hand. “I was looking for Tupperware.”

  I frowned. “Oh no. This plant can’t do Tupperware.”

  He brought the bowl over. “Are you sure? This looks a bit fancy.”

  “It’s perfect,” I said, a smile on my face. “My granny bought it for me.”

  He set it down. “Do you have potting soil?”

  “I do actually. In the pantry.”

  I watched as he poured soil into the bowl and then I repotted the plant into the sterling silver bowl. Jackson watched as I watered it and then we both stood there looking at the droopy plant.

  Julie came over. “What are you guys doing?”

  “Someone dumped a plant. We just repotted it.”

  She peered over my shoulder. “You did not.”

  I knew the moment she spoke what she was getting at. I attempted to change the subject. “Julie you want some more wine?”

  “That bowl is from fucking Tiffany’s. That’s the Monteith bowl.”

  “Ha,” I lied. “Totally not true. I think I got this at a garage sale.”

  Jackson’s eyes met mine. I licked my lips.

  “Bullshit,” Julie sounded indignant. “I know Tiffany. You can’t plant that crappy weed in a bowl worth over four thousand dollars. That’s sacrilege.”

  I took a deep breath and then picked up the bowl. “This isn’t a crappy weed. This is a friendship plant and I can plant it in whatever bowl I want.”

  “Must be nice to throw around your money for everyone to see.”

  “The only reason why this bowl has value is because it was a gift from my granny,” I said, my face burning.

  “Easy for you to say,” her voice was like a whip.

  Without looking at either them, I picked up my $6 plant in my $4000 bowl and walked away from both of them.

  Chapter 15

  I stood in the laundry room and stared at the plant that sat on the washer. I despised how Julie was alway so obsessed with how much money I had. Why did she have to bring it up every single chance she got? I put both of my hands on my face. And why did it feel like everything was spinning out of control? What was happ
ening? I just wanted this party to end and everyone to go home.

  I took a deep breath. I could do this. I just needed to get through tonight. I could process everything later.

  I moved back to the party. Matt was knee deep in the party, joking and laughing uproariously. Katherine was stuck to his side like glue.

  Swallowing hard, I made my way to his side and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. “Em, can you please top us up?”

  Shame washed over me. Followed immediately by retribution. I had kissed Jackson. Jackson’s mouth had been on mine and I had moaned into his lips. I had wantonly drank in his kiss like the starved virgin I was. Matt deserved more from me. Now he was entertaining someone from his work and I was not going to be the needy insecure fiancé who clung to him. Matt hated it when I was clingy.

  “Sure,” I said with a cheerfulness I did not feel.

  ***

  The party raged on. People drank more. The music got louder. The laughter became overwhelming. The energy more intense. I focused on working the party like a good hostess. I collected dirty glasses. I called cabs for people who were no longer in any condition to drive. I sorted out coats and bags and hugged and kissed everyone on their way out. And the entire time, I drank. I don’t know how many glasses of wine I consumed, but the moment my glass was empty, I was filling it up again.

  I was in the kitchen, trying without success to tie off a bag of garbage but my hands fumbled and struggled with the simple task. Matt appeared in the kitchen.

  “Do we have any more of that pinot?”

  I stood up and blinked at him. It dawned on me that I would have to come clean about the kiss. The sooner the better. He was avoiding my gaze.

  “Matt,” I said carefully. “Can we talk? I have to tell you something.”

  “Not right now.”

  “Matt, I have a confession.”

  Matt’s critical gaze roamed over me. Then he looked over his shoulder, his bloodshot eyes narrowed. I followed his gaze to see Jackson towering on the other side of the island. He wore a scowl and he looked formidable.

  Matt’s tone towards Jackson had bite. “Why do you look so pissed? You’re getting lucky tonight, as usual.”